sneak attack visit

my mother and father called me this previous weekend to tell me that they will be visiting me Thursday this week. i, being the eldest of their adult children, and having moved farthest away, feel a certain level of ambivalence regarding my lifestyle. on the one hand, I've been living on my own the longest, and should, in theory have gotten the hang of living like an adult by now... on the other hand living just far enough away to avoid the parental-pop-in has my apartment usually looking as though a crazy homeless person has been squatting there, nice things, but all piled up on the floor and on table tops, and absolutely no clean dishes.

so i tried to clean for their visit, which i suspect was prompted by my recent break up. since they, i believe, are coming here to make sure I'm not drinking myself into oblivion over it, i decided to first take out the recycling. the bag of course was chock full of beer, vodka, and whiskey bottles (their fears are not entirely unfounded, but they don't need to know that), and now i fear my super will judge me too when he finds this huge sack of empty booze bottles. its not that I'm such a drunk, but more like it takes me a long time to take out the recycling.
after that i did some basic things like sweeping the hall, putting all my dirty laundry in a pile (as opposed to blanketing my entire apartment all spread out), and putting dishes in the sink. this is where it all falls apart... it looked pretty good to me... but when someone comes inside your apartment you see it as if with new eyes for its shocking filthiness, so i decided to leave and come back pretending to be my mother.
i walked in to an impassible hallway, but gave myself the benefit of the doubt that this isn't so bad, then i walked into the living room and cringed at the pile of god-knows-what stuff covering my table and imagined my mother going through and assessing the details of the contents of the mess. then i went into the kitchen where i (still pretending to be my mother) dropped to my knees clutching my heart and hollered "oh god nooooooooo" the place is quite a sight if you aren't used to it.

discouraged, I've given up. my new plan is to keep them so busy they don't have time to really look too close...

**update**
the busy plan was in fact scrapped and instead i went with a much more devious and fun plan... i got them wasted and in the morning hollered "oh my god look what you did to my apartment!" which worked beautifully.

you are where you live more than what you eat.

if my place is a mess, so am i... and its a two way street, when my place looks like a disaster area chances are it started because i fell into a funk emotionally or my other responsibilities became overwhelming, but.. having allowed my apartment to fall apart it only added to the problem that had caused it and before long both situations are out of control. a messy apartment can become so unmanageable and overwhelming very fast, and its not a healthy environment to fix anything else either. how can i get my head together when every dish in the house is dirty and i cant see the floor in my bedroom or living room for all the clutter? thank goodness that cleaning can be like therapy.

if my place is too dirty to see where to start, it helps me to come up with a new furniture plan. this could mean moving all of the furniture or just a few key pieces; this could also mean purchasing new shelves or something of the like. if you have to move furniture or work in a new piece then you are forced to deal with the floor and surface clutter that blocks the way (not to mention anything that might be under something you are moving).

i find that once i get the ball rolling with something like this its much easier to continue and actually get the whole psychotic mess under control. when you move furniture there is an artificial feeling of greater progress which can be all the motivation i need to tackle all the other little problems in the house.

once you have your place in order you feel good. not only have you conquered a major project but your surroundings are now in harmony with the adult you are supposed to be. freshly cleaned and rearranged spaces are full of positive forward moving energy.

im more likely to shave my legs or work out or even do my homework on time if my apartment is clean and the furniture is where i like it and i dont hate my curtains.

p.s. i also bought new curtains online...

the best investment

i have long said that instead of forcing highschool students to get through algebra II there should be a new requirement to graduate, a course in basic personal finance. included in the curriculum would be things like balancing a check book, and key things that impact your credit score (not to mention the impact of your credit score on your options for housing and other major life purchases) and most importantly how to read and comprehend a contract for a credit card.
people know that you have to pay off a credit card with intrest, they know, but so many dont really understand. the intrest rate most will get on their first few credit cards and likely all of their credit cards they will have over their lives, will be very high and are subject to change for no reason by the company. this means if the balance is not paid promptly that over time it is likely that the purchases made with the card will cost about three times whatever they originally cost when purchased.

paying off your credit cards is the best investment one can make. do you really want to pay $300 for the $100 printer you bought so long ago? or still be paying months down the line for the shoes you long ago banished to the back of your closet because not only can you not afford a nice night out but they also hurt your feet?

if you dont have the money to buy something, dont buy it. just because you have credit does not mean you have money.

paying the minimum balance gets you nowhere, pay as much as you can as often as you can. its good for your credit score and it reduses how much you will pay in the long run.

you need credit. you need it, for emergencys and large one time purchases, but dont go buying stupid things, needs and wants are not the same thing. you dont need new shoes if your current shoes are appropriate for your daily life and in decent shape. you dont need $4.00 lattes or $15 meals. knowing what you are spending your money on is the first step to curbing those habbits.

cat joke

there were two cats trying to cross a river,

the first was one two three cat,
the second was un deux trois cat,

so which cat won the race

one two three cat won because un deux trois quatre cinq

prop 8... some unfinished thoughts....

Marriage is traditionally a religious ceremony in which a man and woman are joined in “holy matrimony” till death do they part. But today it has become a state institution from which benefits such as tax breaks, rights to visitation in hospitals, and the sharing of insurance can be obtained from the state.

The state, promises not to discriminate based on religion or sexual orientation. The state also shouldn't be discriminating against individuals who are ugly or bad lovers or just undateable and thus unable to find a partner...

What then separates a marriage from any romantic relationship? These days one can get a divorce if they are no longer happy, so there is no more till death do us part if we don’t want to. Many people have open marriages in which they are free to have other partners. Many couples are made up of two of the same sex. Some married couples even have a non-sexual arrangement. Atheists may get "married" by the state in a courthouse by a justice of the peace. So, what is marriage really these days?

Why does the state feel that it is beneficial to support “marriage”?

And why should that definition maintain its traditional context excluding same sex couples if it still allows for divorce, straight couples of alternative religions and non traditional arrangements?

To promote families for the rearing of children is the usual response to why the state should support matrimony.

But what about couples who are barren or do not wish to have children? Should they be required to adopt or else have the marriage annulled? Is there some other reason for getting "married" as opposed to just dating till death do us part? theres no reason a same sex couple couldnt adopt, and there is no evidence that they do any better or worse as parents.some try to argue that its a slippery slope to bestiality and man and pumpkin weddings. but lets slip down the other side of that slope, if the state can regulate based on gender what relationships are valid what is to stop them from passing anti-miscegenation laws (again) or regulating people of different educational backgrounds or income levels.

Same sex couples seeking to get married say it is to celebrate their love and declare their feelings and intentions to friends and family, not to mention to be able to share insurance and obtain tax benefits associated with a state recognized union. So what’s wrong with just accepting civil unions then? It’s a matter of not allowing the state to invalidate your lifestyle and your relationship with blatant discrimination; if the state recognizes any wedding, it should recognize same sex weddings.

How to be a Philosophy Major.

1. assume that all your classmates are morons and have reached their current level of understanding of a text by reading about it on sparknotes or are just faking it by only quoting from the two pages they read right before class.

2. make lengthy comparisons to other philosophers (the more obscure the better)in class, even if the comparison is a stretch. this will let the other students know that you are more well read than them.

3. be sure to look bored when you talk about philosophy as it will leave others with the impression that what you are telling them is remedial to you and you are doing them a favor by stooping to explain it to a novice like them. you'd rather be discussing something more advanced.

4. if someone trumps your knowledge of a philosopher act as if you dismissed the theories of that philosopher a long time ago and cant be bothered to delve any deeper on a subject so obviously beneath you. laugh at them for bringing it up so they will know how much better you are than them.

5. do not wash your hair any more than once every two weeks, but no less than that either unless you are also an art student, if you are an art student do not wash your hair more than once a month.

6. cultivate an intellectual look by wearing unfashionable glasses and sportscoats to go with your dirty hair. always look bored and slightly annoyed even when speaking to people you like. this will let them know that you are better than them.

i know what im really shopping for...

do you ever feel like you're really shopping for the self you wish you were when you blow all your credit on some dumb outfit you'll wear only once... if ever?

sometimes i look at my wardrobe and wonder who i was shopping for when i bought all this stuff...
im really shopping for the body i think i should have,
and a lifestyle in which im not sure i really want to participate...

i guess what i'm getting at is that i've taped my credit cards to the inside of a drawer and im done searching at the stores for what they dont sell.

(or at least thats my official position on the matter)