okay so here we go with a little doritio inspired rant. their new advert for their new "flavor" is distressing for many reasons... here it is:
doritos is presenting this advertisement to the wrong demographic, pretty skinny club girls dont eat doritos, and they definetly dont eat late night cheeseburgers, and any combonation of the two, well that is just gross. which brings me to my next problem with this advertisment, in no way does eating chips of any kind make me feel more dressed up or pretty or like im ready for the hot city late night club scene; if i am eating doritos, i will not be in heels, sparkles, and certainly not lipstick. i will be in sweat pants with no shirt on drooling on myself in front of the tv if i am eating doritos, just like the people they aught to be marketing to.
this is not to say doritos are exclusively for those people, and i am certainly not suggesting that showing that sort of scene would be a good image for their ads. im saying that is their main demographic, and that is why we usually see ads protraying doritos as the sort of thing x-treem sports people and attractive gamers with good skin will eat. their aim is off.. they are shooting too high going for club girls, late night cheeseburger perhaps should be targeting the dive bar scene and frat boys doing keg stands if they want to move on from skaters and gamers and go for the drunks. not. club. girls. give it up doritos, they too pretty for you and they are out of your league.
also, late night cheeseburger is a gross idea for a chip flavor, especially the "late night" part. you know who eats cheeseburgers late night? stoned people and people who have drunk too much and are worried they will barf. and they will barf. and now it will be late night cheeseburger flavor.
fuck you doritos.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
advertising
i have a problem with a great many advertisements for a great many reasons, so I'm going to tackle a few of them and explain myself in a few posts here.
i will begin with wheat thins current line of advertising in which a van full of wheat thin employees check twitter for wheat thin related posts and then jump out at the posters of said tweets with boxes of wheat thins. i have a problem in general with this fake guerrilla format, and wheat thins are not the only ones, )see domino's pizza forcing people who gave bad reviews to their pizza to give it another chance) but the wheat thins are offensive to me in a way the pizza isn't.
my big problem isn't really even how ridiculous the idea of some woman bothering to tweet that her life is over because she is out of wheat thins; my problem is their ludicrous reaction. they deliver her enough wheat thins that they need a fork lift to put them in her driveway and then speed off.
why would anyone want that. if i was that lady i would be pissed. its just.. offensive.
another of their spots involves a guy who supposedly tweeted that he wishes there were crunch proof headphones so he doesn't have to turn up the volume when he eats wheat thins. so they show up with what they claim to have invented in their labs, a pair of crunch proof earphones. they put them on the poor guys head interrupting his meal out on the patio of some cafe, and crunch at him through a megaphone.
what. the. fuck.
anyone who has ever eaten something crunchy while watching TV or even in some cases listening to their headphones knows that that man is not referring to crunching from others, and if you don't have experience with this then at least you can read his supposed tweet and know what he means! god damn! and sound canceling headphones already exist! wheat thins, you know you didn't invent those in your cracker lab!
i don't know why this drives me so crazy, but it does. i like wheat thins, but no more, i cant look at them without thinking of that lame van and that smug fuck in charge of where they go.
fuck you wheat thins. fuck you.
up next, my thoughts on dorito's late night cheeseburger.
i will begin with wheat thins current line of advertising in which a van full of wheat thin employees check twitter for wheat thin related posts and then jump out at the posters of said tweets with boxes of wheat thins. i have a problem in general with this fake guerrilla format, and wheat thins are not the only ones, )see domino's pizza forcing people who gave bad reviews to their pizza to give it another chance) but the wheat thins are offensive to me in a way the pizza isn't.
my big problem isn't really even how ridiculous the idea of some woman bothering to tweet that her life is over because she is out of wheat thins; my problem is their ludicrous reaction. they deliver her enough wheat thins that they need a fork lift to put them in her driveway and then speed off.
why would anyone want that. if i was that lady i would be pissed. its just.. offensive.
another of their spots involves a guy who supposedly tweeted that he wishes there were crunch proof headphones so he doesn't have to turn up the volume when he eats wheat thins. so they show up with what they claim to have invented in their labs, a pair of crunch proof earphones. they put them on the poor guys head interrupting his meal out on the patio of some cafe, and crunch at him through a megaphone.
what. the. fuck.
anyone who has ever eaten something crunchy while watching TV or even in some cases listening to their headphones knows that that man is not referring to crunching from others, and if you don't have experience with this then at least you can read his supposed tweet and know what he means! god damn! and sound canceling headphones already exist! wheat thins, you know you didn't invent those in your cracker lab!
i don't know why this drives me so crazy, but it does. i like wheat thins, but no more, i cant look at them without thinking of that lame van and that smug fuck in charge of where they go.
fuck you wheat thins. fuck you.
up next, my thoughts on dorito's late night cheeseburger.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
sneak attack visit
my mother and father called me this previous weekend to tell me that they will be visiting me Thursday this week. i, being the eldest of their adult children, and having moved farthest away, feel a certain level of ambivalence regarding my lifestyle. on the one hand, I've been living on my own the longest, and should, in theory have gotten the hang of living like an adult by now... on the other hand living just far enough away to avoid the parental-pop-in has my apartment usually looking as though a crazy homeless person has been squatting there, nice things, but all piled up on the floor and on table tops, and absolutely no clean dishes.
so i tried to clean for their visit, which i suspect was prompted by my recent break up. since they, i believe, are coming here to make sure I'm not drinking myself into oblivion over it, i decided to first take out the recycling. the bag of course was chock full of beer, vodka, and whiskey bottles (their fears are not entirely unfounded, but they don't need to know that), and now i fear my super will judge me too when he finds this huge sack of empty booze bottles. its not that I'm such a drunk, but more like it takes me a long time to take out the recycling.
after that i did some basic things like sweeping the hall, putting all my dirty laundry in a pile (as opposed to blanketing my entire apartment all spread out), and putting dishes in the sink. this is where it all falls apart... it looked pretty good to me... but when someone comes inside your apartment you see it as if with new eyes for its shocking filthiness, so i decided to leave and come back pretending to be my mother.
i walked in to an impassible hallway, but gave myself the benefit of the doubt that this isn't so bad, then i walked into the living room and cringed at the pile of god-knows-what stuff covering my table and imagined my mother going through and assessing the details of the contents of the mess. then i went into the kitchen where i (still pretending to be my mother) dropped to my knees clutching my heart and hollered "oh god nooooooooo" the place is quite a sight if you aren't used to it.
discouraged, I've given up. my new plan is to keep them so busy they don't have time to really look too close...
**update**
the busy plan was in fact scrapped and instead i went with a much more devious and fun plan... i got them wasted and in the morning hollered "oh my god look what you did to my apartment!" which worked beautifully.
so i tried to clean for their visit, which i suspect was prompted by my recent break up. since they, i believe, are coming here to make sure I'm not drinking myself into oblivion over it, i decided to first take out the recycling. the bag of course was chock full of beer, vodka, and whiskey bottles (their fears are not entirely unfounded, but they don't need to know that), and now i fear my super will judge me too when he finds this huge sack of empty booze bottles. its not that I'm such a drunk, but more like it takes me a long time to take out the recycling.
after that i did some basic things like sweeping the hall, putting all my dirty laundry in a pile (as opposed to blanketing my entire apartment all spread out), and putting dishes in the sink. this is where it all falls apart... it looked pretty good to me... but when someone comes inside your apartment you see it as if with new eyes for its shocking filthiness, so i decided to leave and come back pretending to be my mother.
i walked in to an impassible hallway, but gave myself the benefit of the doubt that this isn't so bad, then i walked into the living room and cringed at the pile of god-knows-what stuff covering my table and imagined my mother going through and assessing the details of the contents of the mess. then i went into the kitchen where i (still pretending to be my mother) dropped to my knees clutching my heart and hollered "oh god nooooooooo" the place is quite a sight if you aren't used to it.
discouraged, I've given up. my new plan is to keep them so busy they don't have time to really look too close...
**update**
the busy plan was in fact scrapped and instead i went with a much more devious and fun plan... i got them wasted and in the morning hollered "oh my god look what you did to my apartment!" which worked beautifully.
Friday, February 19, 2010
you are where you live more than what you eat.
if my place is a mess, so am i... and its a two way street, when my place looks like a disaster area chances are it started because i fell into a funk emotionally or my other responsibilities became overwhelming, but.. having allowed my apartment to fall apart it only added to the problem that had caused it and before long both situations are out of control. a messy apartment can become so unmanageable and overwhelming very fast, and its not a healthy environment to fix anything else either. how can i get my head together when every dish in the house is dirty and i cant see the floor in my bedroom or living room for all the clutter? thank goodness that cleaning can be like therapy.
if my place is too dirty to see where to start, it helps me to come up with a new furniture plan. this could mean moving all of the furniture or just a few key pieces; this could also mean purchasing new shelves or something of the like. if you have to move furniture or work in a new piece then you are forced to deal with the floor and surface clutter that blocks the way (not to mention anything that might be under something you are moving).
i find that once i get the ball rolling with something like this its much easier to continue and actually get the whole psychotic mess under control. when you move furniture there is an artificial feeling of greater progress which can be all the motivation i need to tackle all the other little problems in the house.
once you have your place in order you feel good. not only have you conquered a major project but your surroundings are now in harmony with the adult you are supposed to be. freshly cleaned and rearranged spaces are full of positive forward moving energy.
im more likely to shave my legs or work out or even do my homework on time if my apartment is clean and the furniture is where i like it and i dont hate my curtains.
p.s. i also bought new curtains online...
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
the best investment
i have long said that instead of forcing highschool students to get through algebra II there should be a new requirement to graduate, a course in basic personal finance. included in the curriculum would be things like balancing a check book, and key things that impact your credit score (not to mention the impact of your credit score on your options for housing and other major life purchases) and most importantly how to read and comprehend a contract for a credit card.
people know that you have to pay off a credit card with intrest, they know, but so many dont really understand. the intrest rate most will get on their first few credit cards and likely all of their credit cards they will have over their lives, will be very high and are subject to change for no reason by the company. this means if the balance is not paid promptly that over time it is likely that the purchases made with the card will cost about three times whatever they originally cost when purchased.
paying off your credit cards is the best investment one can make. do you really want to pay $300 for the $100 printer you bought so long ago? or still be paying months down the line for the shoes you long ago banished to the back of your closet because not only can you not afford a nice night out but they also hurt your feet?
if you dont have the money to buy something, dont buy it. just because you have credit does not mean you have money.
paying the minimum balance gets you nowhere, pay as much as you can as often as you can. its good for your credit score and it reduses how much you will pay in the long run.
you need credit. you need it, for emergencys and large one time purchases, but dont go buying stupid things, needs and wants are not the same thing. you dont need new shoes if your current shoes are appropriate for your daily life and in decent shape. you dont need $4.00 lattes or $15 meals. knowing what you are spending your money on is the first step to curbing those habbits.
people know that you have to pay off a credit card with intrest, they know, but so many dont really understand. the intrest rate most will get on their first few credit cards and likely all of their credit cards they will have over their lives, will be very high and are subject to change for no reason by the company. this means if the balance is not paid promptly that over time it is likely that the purchases made with the card will cost about three times whatever they originally cost when purchased.
paying off your credit cards is the best investment one can make. do you really want to pay $300 for the $100 printer you bought so long ago? or still be paying months down the line for the shoes you long ago banished to the back of your closet because not only can you not afford a nice night out but they also hurt your feet?
if you dont have the money to buy something, dont buy it. just because you have credit does not mean you have money.
paying the minimum balance gets you nowhere, pay as much as you can as often as you can. its good for your credit score and it reduses how much you will pay in the long run.
you need credit. you need it, for emergencys and large one time purchases, but dont go buying stupid things, needs and wants are not the same thing. you dont need new shoes if your current shoes are appropriate for your daily life and in decent shape. you dont need $4.00 lattes or $15 meals. knowing what you are spending your money on is the first step to curbing those habbits.
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